using your journal to help you bounce back
 If you’re reading The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit, you already know that I think that your journal can be one of the most powerful tools you can use to begin to bounce back from the hit you’ve taken. For years, before I went to seminary and began doing spiritual coaching, I taught college English classes where I always required my students to keep journals—trust me, I have heard every objection and complaint out there about journals! I know that, for many people, thinking about writing in a journal can feel like some kind of unwelcome homework assignment—I know that for some folks, any kind of written “assignment” can feel like a burden. I know that you may have had bad experiences with writing—you may have been damaged by teachers who made you stressed out about writing. Well, I am here to set you free from any journaling baggage you’ve brought with you into this experience of helping yourself to bounce back from whatever’s hurt your heart or damaged your life.
You have taken a serious hit. You have had things happen to you that you wish you never had to face. You are hurting or angry or sad—or maybe all three—and you just want to feel better. Believe me when I say that your journal really can help you begin to heal. The process of putting thought into actual written words can be cathartic, healing, empowering and renewing. Here are some things you can do with your journal or that your journal can do for you: • You can say anything you want to say to your journal. You do not need to be nice, polite or fair. You can be accusatory, hostile or downright bitchy and no one will have anything to say about it. You can let it all hang out. This is, in itself, very freeing and healing, especially for many of us who don’t like to ever say anything that might offend or bother anyone else. • You don’t have to be accurate, truthful or even rational when you write in your journal. When you have taken a hit, you may be processing emotions that feel unacceptable or ugly. You may have thoughts that are unkind or ungenerous that just need to come out somewhere, somehow so they don’t stay inside your mind, cluttering it up. Your journal doesn’t fact-check you and doesn’t hold it against you if you’re feeling small or petty while you’re trying to cope with the hurt or pain you’ve been dealt. • You can talk to your journal anytime you want to. There are no limits and this is very important, because when you’re in crisis mode, it is all too easy to overtax your family and friends with the intensity and frequency of your emotions and venting sessions. Your journal actually wants to be filled up with all of your ravings and rantings, so do so without compunction. This stuff has to go somewhere and your journal is the healthiest place for a lot of this emotional garbage to go. It is good to have somewhere to go at four in the morning or when no one you want to talk with is picking up the phone. • Writing can make you aware of things that you might be feeling that might not be obvious at first. If you can allow yourself free reign and avoid censoring yourself, you may realize stuff about yourself, your relationships or your feelings that are lurking below the surface. Your journal can be your confessional—the place where you tell the deep, dirty, dark truths that you almost can’t admit even to yourself. It is a safe place to let your unconscious mind come out and play. • You deserve to give a voice to the pain and hurt you’re carrying around. What you’ve been through or lost deserves to be acknowledged. Your journal is a place to honor your losses, to make them real. Your words have power and you deserve to put them out there—even if it’s just in the safety of your journal. • Your journal is a place to be meta-cognitive—a place to think about how you think. We talk about this concept in the book and it’s an important one for your healing and ability to bounce back. Sometimes seeing your own thoughts and feelings spread out on paper validates them and comforts you. Other times, seeing the way your mind and heart are working cues you in to changes that you need to make to be healthier and happier. • Your journal gives you a place to give yourself attention. Rather than viewing the journal assignments from the book as “chores,” begin to think of them as indulgences—chances for you to take time for your own feelings and for your own healing. • When you write in your journal, you give yourself a chance to connect with your inner wisdom. In the book, we refer to a part of you called the Sacred Self—when you journal you can ask for that wise, calm and loving part of yourself to show up and respond to your thoughts and feelings. Your journal can be your gateway to spiritual solace and guidance as the Holy Spirit speaks to you through your own thoughts and words. There is something so powerful about the written word. Somehow when we write, we connect with this wisdom that we scarcely knew existed. Writing is one of the most essential ways to connect with our innate spiritual resilience and nourish our souls. It can help us work through crises in our lives by allowing us to explore different areas of thought and gain clarity we may not have had access to when the situation was unfolding. At first some of the journaling exercises, may seem slightly silly or a bit forced, but the more you write, the more comfortable you will begin to feel with writing, and the more comforted you will be by it. It’s a chance to explore your world of thoughts without interruption. It is a completely safe environment to express your true feelings, hopes and dreams. When it comes to journaling, the best way to begin writing is by doing just that---begin writing. Many people get caught up in “doing it right”, or making it neat and pretty. Some people are defeated before they start because they are worried about what it sounds like or that it isn’t good enough. The purpose of journaling is to give you a place to write down thoughts, feelings and ideas that you might not normally discuss or even think about. Think of it as writing a letter to yourself. There is no one to judge you, no one to dispute you and no one to be disappointed with you. You don’t have to be nice, considerate, tactful or self conscious. It’s just you talking to, well, you---so be as happy, sad, frustrated, mad, or as frightened as you want. Write about things you’ve only ever dreamed about, write about situations that have upset you, write about what you wish for--- write about how you feel. The most important thing to do is to just write, because the more you do it, the more naturally it comes. Sometimes getting all your thoughts out on paper gives you the opportunity to “let go” of a situation that might otherwise keep rewinding and playing over and over again in your head. Maybe you had an unpleasant interaction with someone and you wished you had said or done something differently--your journal is the place where you get to explore your feelings and express yourself on the way you wish you had done originally. Journaling can empower you to “get it out” and move on. You can’t always change a situation, but you can change how you feel about it, and your journal gives you a place to do just that. Perhaps you have a secret dream or goal that you are busting at the seams to express, but have been discouraged in the past for thinking such “grand” thoughts. Why not list your ideas in your journal and lay out a plan to begin living your dream? In fact, one of the best ways to bring joy and feelings of peace to your life is to begin a “gratitude journal”. Just the simple act of recognizing and writing down a few things you are grateful for each day can turbocharge your spiritual resiliency by keeping you focused on what is working in your life. Over time, your journal becomes a record of and witness to all you’ve been through and how far you’ve come. It becomes a document that you can look over after things have healed and shifted and see the way your journey unfolded. It will provide you with a very interesting perspective on yourself and your life—one that will point you in the direction of your future. For every effort you make to give something to your journal, you will be rewarded by your journal with insights, revelations, solace and perspective. Find a notebook or journal that you like and some pens that you enjoy writing with and set up a little place—maybe your bedside table—where you can regularly connect with your spirit through journaling.
Check out these websites for interesting articles and tips on journaling: Journalforyou.comSoulfuliving.comBeliefnet.comDailyOm.comTo learn more about the transformative power of journaling and to grow your spiritual practice through journaling, check in your local bookstore or library to find these and many other books to start you on your way: Journal to the Self by Kathleen Adams, M.A. Journaling as a Spiritual Practice: Encountering God Through Attentive Writing by Helen Cepero The New Diary by Tristine Rainer
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