from chapter 1:

“Dear Spirit Letter” journal entry

Dear Spirit:

This is a weird journal entry for me to make. I mean, I don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about the spiritual side of myself. I do believe in God and I do feel like there is some part of me that is connected with God—I guess that part is my spirit? What I do know is that most days, I am waaay too busy to think a lot about my spirit. I have a lot on my plate right now and sometimes I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water in my ordinary, material life without worrying about going deeper inside delving around for more things to do.

I used to feel more connected with my spirit when my kids were babies and preschoolers because I belonged to a church group for moms with young kids. It was really like a night out—which I really needed at the time—but it was also a night once a month where I got to connect with other women who were trying to stay in touch with their spiritual sides. There were some really good inspirational speakers and a few nights, I left feeling more spiritually centered than I had in years. For a few days afterward, I felt calmer and like things made more sense—but always, I just got so busy and the feeling would fade. Eventually, my kids got bigger and sports and schedules made it hard to keep going to that group.

I want to feel more connected with you, Spirit. I know that I am more than just this bunch of jobs I have and roles I play—I know that there is a part of me that is peaceful and that I feel like I could tap into if I put some energy into it. It makes me feel sad for myself that I am too busy to nurture my own spirit. I know that it’s probably the most important thing I could do to help myself deal with all the pressures and stresses of my life.

I guess I’m just not sure where to even begin, Spirit. I miss feeling close to you, though, and I want to change things so that you are a priority in my life. I need more than I am getting spiritually and I want to find a way to make this part of my life more “real” for me—a lot of the time, I feel like I am just “going through the motions” when it comes to spirituality. I want to feel a genuine spiritual connection again and I don’t think it’s impossible for me to feel if I decide to focus on that.

I am going to stop and be still every day at some point—maybe before I begin the whole dinner hour routine I can just go into my room or out on the porch for five minutes and pray for a few minutes. I might just focus on what I’m grateful for or I might just try to pay attention to my breath. I want you back in my daily life, Spirit—show me how to make that a reality.

Love,
Me

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